When I was a rookie cop, I was working on some paperwork at the front desk. The front desk officer, who was permanently assigned there, was a classic curmudgeon. Cranky and cantankerous, he had a routine: every morning around 9:00 AM, his cronies would gather for a coffee break. They all stood around the desk, complaining about—well, everything.
On this particular day, they were griping about the new promotions that had just been announced. They had something negative to say about everyone who’d been promoted. One officer complained about his recruit that he’d left in the car, calling him “dumb as a box of rocks.” They criticized new policies, their wives, and any other topic that came up. It was a nonstop chorus of negativity.
I remember feeling myself getting sucked into their vortex of complaints. I found myself nodding along—like a bobblehead—to their grievances. The truth is, I didn’t even know the people who had been promoted, but they had somehow convinced me to dislike them.
As this was happening, another police officer walked into the front desk area. Without stopping or missing a beat, he said, “Good morning, fellas! What did you wake up pissed off about today?” Then he kept walking.
The gaggle of malcontents grumbled after him, but I couldn’t help laughing. He had interrupted the rhythm of their negativity so perfectly that it snapped me out of the moment. While they continued their complaining after he left, I found myself catapulted into a moment of clarity. That officer didn’t hold any formal rank, but what he exhibited was unmistakably leadership. In a single sentence, he disrupted a toxic culture.
Later that day, I caught up with him and told him how I’d been getting pulled into the negativity until he walked in and “rescued” me. He laughed and said, “Kid, let me give you some advice: be careful about the people you surround yourself with. If you’re not careful, they’ll brainwash you into believing everything is wrong.”
He went on to explain: “Those officers are miserable, and it spills into every part of their lives. Instead, surround yourself with people who aren’t full of doom and gloom. You can either be dragged down or lifted up. The choice is yours.”
So I’ll ask you the same question he asked that day: What did you wake up pissed off about today?
That moment at the front desk was a turning point for me. It wasn’t just about waking up to the negativity around me—it was about realizing how easily we all get sucked into it. It was about recognizing how the environment you’re in can either fuel your growth or stunt it. That officer didn’t just disrupt a conversation; he disrupted a mindset. He shifted the atmosphere, not by force, but by calling out the absurdity of their behavior with a single sentence.
And it worked.
That moment taught me that disruption doesn’t always require a position of authority or a bullhorn. It often happens in quiet but powerful moments of resistance. Resistance to the status quo. Resistance to negativity. Resistance to becoming someone who only sees problems and never seeks solutions.
Victim Mindset vs. Disrupter Mindset
It’s easy to play the victim in life. It’s comfortable. When we adopt a victim mindset, we absolve ourselves of responsibility. We blame the system, the organization, the leadership, the weather, the traffic—anything but ourselves. But here’s the truth: negativity is like a drug. It feels good in the moment. It bonds people over shared grievances. It’s easier than doing the hard work of change.
But negativity comes at a price. It drains energy. It erodes trust. It poisons teams and relationships. And it keeps us stuck.
Disrupters, on the other hand, don’t let themselves get trapped in that cycle. They’re not blind to problems; they just refuse to be defined by them. Instead, they challenge the status quo, push for solutions, and elevate the people around them. They ask better questions, like, What’s the real issue here? or How can we fix this? or even Is this really worth my energy?
The disrupter mindset is about shifting focus. It’s about rejecting the urge to see everything as broken and instead asking, What’s working? It’s about identifying the small wins, the progress, the possibility for change—and then doing something about it.
Speak Up, Speak Out
That officer could’ve walked into the room, rolled his eyes, and quietly fumed about the negativity. Instead, he chose to speak up. He chose to disrupt. And that’s what real leadership looks like.
Too many of us stay silent when we should speak. We nod along when we should push back. Why? Because it’s safer. Because we don’t want to be the target of criticism or ridicule. Because being a disrupter is uncomfortable. It puts you on an island, at least for a while.
But here’s the thing: growth doesn’t happen in comfort. Disruption doesn’t happen in silence. Whether you’re in a meeting, at the dinner table, or sitting around the proverbial water cooler, the question is: Are you contributing to the problem or challenging it? Are you bobbing your head along with the negativity, or are you brave enough to interrupt it?
Fighting the Default
Our default setting as humans is to conserve energy, avoid conflict, and seek comfort. That’s why it’s so easy to get stuck in a victim mindset. It’s why we point fingers instead of raising our hands to offer solutions.
But disrupters don’t operate on default. They override it. They understand that real leadership, real change, and real growth require discomfort. They know that speaking up might make them unpopular in the moment, but they do it anyway because they’re playing the long game. They’re not just thinking about the problem in front of them; they’re thinking about the culture they’re creating.
What Did You Wake Up Pissed Off About Today?
Here’s the truth: We all wake up pissed off about something. Maybe it’s your job, your boss, your partner, the world. Maybe it’s something as small as traffic or as big as injustice. But the real question is: What are you going to do about it?Are you going to sit in the negativity and marinate in it? Or are you going to use it as fuel to disrupt, to create, to push forward?
Being a disrupter doesn’t mean you have to change the world overnight. It starts with small moments. It starts with the courage to speak up when everyone else stays silent. It starts with choosing not to participate in the negativity, the gossip, the victimhood. It starts with asking yourself: Am I part of the problem, or am I part of the solution?
Call to Action
So here’s my challenge to you: Be the kind of person who changes the room when you walk into it. Be the one who sees what’s wrong but refuses to dwell on it. Be the one who asks better questions, who offers solutions, who lifts people up instead of dragging them down.
The next time you hear someone complaining, ask yourself: Am I about to get sucked into this vortex, or can I disrupt it? And the next time you catch yourself complaining, pause and ask: What can I do to fix this?
The world doesn’t need more critics, cynics, or victims. It needs disrupters. It needs people who have the courage to challenge the narrative, change the conversation, and chart a new course.
So I’ll ask you again: What did you wake up pissed off about today? Now, what are you going to do about it?
Keep on disrupting, my fellow disrupters.
Onward and upward,
Kristen
P.S. You can listen to this on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!
P.P.S. This blog post was inspired by Kyle Plasha who continues to add rocket fuel to my mission.
