You have less than 48 hours to finish your last-minute shopping, and you’ll probably find yourself back at the grocery store for something you forgot. Maybe you’re rushing to send out digital Christmas cards because you didn’t get around to printing any this year. To those who managed to send out beautifully crafted, handwritten cards, kudos! I love receiving them and marvel at the planning it takes to get them done. Seriously, how are you so organized? And to those who even planned a family photo in advance—how do you do it? I’m in awe of how you’ve assembled everyone, managed the outfits, and nailed those perfect smiles. I am not that organized, so consider this my holiday card to you!
Meanwhile, others are scrambling to wrap gifts, bake cookies for Santa, and keep up with that mischievous elf on a shelf, who somehow manages to be more on top of things than they are.
Christmas is my favorite holiday. I adore the entire season—the sparkly lights, the cooler weather (yes, Floridians feel the chill when it hits 50 degrees), and the hustle and bustle of people preparing for their celebrations. There’s an energy in the air that feels magical. Small talk flows effortlessly this time of year. “What are you doing for the holidays?” People love to share their plans, and I genuinely enjoy hearing them. There’s a collective cheeriness that feels contagious. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I’m okay with that.
This year, though, Christmas looks a little different for me. For the first time in 24 years, I won’t be with my kids on Christmas Day. My youngest is on a National Tour of the Broadway Musical Parade. One daughter is very pregnant with our first grandbaby. My other daughter and her husband are in the Air Force, and coordinating leave isn’t always possible. Plus, their previous deployments kept them apart the last few years, so they are opting for a quiet Christmas with just the two of them. We were together for Thanksgiving, so I told myself not seeing them all on Christmas was no big deal. But the truth is, I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t believe it now. My plan to cope? Spiked eggnog. A terrible idea, yes, but sometimes the holidays call for survival strategies that don’t align with your usual health and wellness routine.
When your kids grow up, something unexpected happens. They find partners, and if you’re lucky, those partners are amazing. We hit the jackpot with our kids’ significant others. I take full credit for the excellent choices they’ve made. That doesn’t happen by accident, right? But as they form their own nuclear families, the dynamic shifts. They’re no longer solely yours. They’re also part of their partner’s family, with its own traditions and expectations. It’s a tough pill to swallow, watching them navigate the pull in multiple directions.
Yet, the fact that they’re so busy and immersed in their own lives is a testament to the job we’ve done as parents. Isn’t that what you want for your kids? For them to be so happy, independent, and successful that their days are full, their schedules overflowing, and their hearts stretched across so many meaningful commitments? It’s not really a problem if you shift your mindset—it’s proof that they’re living the kind of life you hoped to prepare them for. And while it can be bittersweet, I remind myself that Christmas is one day out of many, and we’re fortunate to have the means to connect and make memories throughout the year. That’s a privilege I’ll never take for granted.
The holidays are glorious and wonderful, but they can also be terrible and tragic, depending on your perspective. Living in Naples, Florida, scrambles my holiday senses. After 48 years in Chicago, where Christmas meant snow and freezing temperatures, warm December days just don’t feel like Christmas. It’s a reminder that it’s just a day—a day shaped by our experiences, traditions, and mindset.
For those who have lost someone they love, the holidays magnify that void. I lost both my parents, and my mom, in particular, loved Christmas. Every year, she’d show up with a Panera pastry she’d ordered weeks in advance. None of us even liked that doughy ring, but I’d give anything to see her walk through the door with it one more time. For others, the absence may be because a loved one is serving in the military, working as a first responder, or performing essential duties in the medical field. Their sacrifices are a poignant reminder of what the holidays are truly about—connection and gratitude.
Then there are families where personalities clash, making holiday gatherings feel more like an endurance event than a celebration. This year, Webster’s word of the year is “polarization,” and that rings true not just for our nation but for our families as well. If you’re dreading the inevitable debates or conflicts, I raise my glass of spiked eggnog to you. My one piece of advice: Set boundaries. That relative whose mission is to get under your skin? You’re allowed to limit their influence over your day. When tension arises, remember this: It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about seeking understanding. Approaching conflict with that mindset can help you survive—and maybe even enjoy—the day.
As I reflect on not being with my kids this Christmas, I’m reminded that I need to follow the advice I give: Optimizing our lives with optimism means we have a choice in how we perceive our circumstances. My wife and I are fortunate to have a full dance card on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, thanks to friends who feel like family. We have three kinds of family: the one we’re born into, the one we create, and the one we choose. Friends are the family you get to choose, and what a gift that is.
And then it’s over. The decorations come down, the routines return, and we move on. Christmas reminds me that anticipation is often sweeter than the actual event—like how the journey sometimes outshines the destination.
The holidays are a whirlwind of emotions: elation, sadness, anger, loneliness, overwhelm. They run the gamut. But through it all, they offer us a chance to pause, reflect, and connect. Whether you’re surrounded by loved ones or finding solace in quiet moments, the season reminds us of what truly matters. Let’s carry that spirit forward into the new year, with all its messy, beautiful, and unpredictable moments. Because at the end of the day, that’s what life—and the holidays—are all about.
Merry Christmas, my fellow disrupters.
Oh, and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, all of this still applies.
Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Yule, Happy Bodhi Day, Merry Winter Solstice, and to my friends outside of the US, Happy Boxing Day.
Onward and upward,
Kristen
