“You are alive at an absolutely critical moment in time. Show up for this life and find your purpose. But don’t stop there, because that only serves you. Your true calling is determining your gift and then using it to serve the world.”
Those are the last words of my book, where I challenged readers to move beyond purpose as a self-serving pursuit and embrace a life of service. I stand by that statement, but I admit I left the idea unfinished. So here’s my attempt to defend my thought process and convince you to stop searching for your purpose.
We’re taught that finding purpose is the ultimate goal—the magical force that fills us with passion and guides us to happiness. If we just discover our “one true calling,” life will click into place, and fulfillment will follow.
That sounds beautiful, but it’s a myth. Purpose alone won’t wake you up every morning. Plenty of people serving mighty missions still hit snooze on their alarms and dread their workday.
The problem? People wait for a grand sense of purpose to motivate them, delaying action and depriving both themselves and the world of their contributions. Purpose doesn’t have to come first—serving others can lead you there.
Purpose Isn’t the Destination—It’s a Byproduct
Most people think purpose is something you stumble upon, like a grand revelation. But purpose often emerges when you’re busy doing the work. Serving others shifts the focus away from yourself and onto the bigger picture, which creates clarity.
For example, many volunteers start helping out of curiosity or boredom, only to find a profound sense of meaning in their contributions. Purpose follows action, not the other way around.
Stop overthinking your purpose and start contributing. Volunteer, mentor, or get involved in your community. Purpose may find you when you least expect it.
Your Gifts Are the Key to Serving
Everyone has unique talents that, when applied, make a difference in the lives of others. The challenge is recognizing these gifts and using them intentionally. Many people overlook their abilities because they seem ordinary—like listening, organizing, or teaching—but these “simple” skills often solve real problems and create meaningful impact.
For example, great listeners might transform their innate empathy into a career in counseling or coaching, where their ability to make others feel heard becomes a lifeline. The friend who loves organizing closets and pantries might turn their knack for order into a thriving home organization business, helping others create spaces that reduce stress and bring joy. And we all know the person with endless patience who explains complex concepts with clarity and kindness—they’re the natural teachers who can inspire learning in any setting, whether in a classroom or a corporate boardroom.
Think about a time when someone used their gift to help you. I’ve leaned on friends who excel in areas where I struggle—like a friend who simplifies legal jargon in contracts or another who has an eye for style and helps me find the perfect outfit for a keynote. What seems second nature to them feels like a lifeline to me.
Your gifts might not feel extraordinary to you because they come so easily, but to someone else, they might be life-changing. Take a moment to identify what you’re naturally good at—things others often compliment or ask for help with, then find one way to use them this week to make someone’s life a little easier. Small steps like these can lead to bigger impacts, and they’re often where your purpose begins to take shape.
That’s exactly how I discovered my passion for speaking. As a young police officer, I loved standing in front of neighborhood groups, sharing tips to solve crime and keep people safe. Later, as a sergeant, I enjoyed leading roll calls for officers—a task many of my peers dreaded. Over time, these small opportunities turned into larger ones: press conferences, conference presentations, and eventually professional speaking after I retired.
What I’ve realized is this: my love of speaking isn’t about me—it’s about the value I can bring to others. My purpose became clear when I focused on serving audiences, equipping them with tools to take action, disrupt limiting beliefs, and create meaningful change.
Waiting for Purpose Wastes Time
The idea that you need to “figure things out” before you can act is a lie. Waiting for purpose often leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and missed opportunities.
The world doesn’t need you to have all the answers—it just needs you to show up. Think about people who step up in moments of crisis: neighbors lending a hand, volunteers organizing relief efforts. Their impact is profound, even without a premeditated sense of purpose.
Commit to one small act of service this week. Don’t overthink whether it aligns with your “calling.” Just take action.
Serving Others Builds Confidence and Resilience
Helping others builds confidence, adaptability, and resilience. It forces you to problem-solve, connect with people, and step outside your comfort zone—all of which strengthen your sense of self.
Think about a teacher who starts by helping one struggling student after school. Over time, they notice the impact of their efforts—not just in better grades, but in the student’s confidence and willingness to try harder. That small act of service may inspire the teacher to develop programs that help more students or even influence education policy. Purpose grows from these small, meaningful acts, not from waiting for the perfect moment.
Purpose Is Overrated If It’s All About You
Purpose focused solely on personal fulfillment can feel empty over time. The richest lives are those lived in service to others, where purpose serves as a means to uplift, not just achieve.
Many people mistake purpose for success, chasing career goals or accolades. But this approach often leads to burnout or dissatisfaction because it lacks connection to others.
A life centered on service creates ripples. Your efforts don’t just improve your life—they leave a legacy of impact.
You don’t need to choose between serving others and discovering your purpose. The two often go hand in hand. Small acts of service not only contribute to the world but also teach you more about yourself. Studies show that people who engage in acts of kindness report higher levels of happiness and fulfillment. This supports the idea that purpose grows from contribution, not contemplation.
Start small. Help a coworker, support a friend, or join a cause you care about. These actions, though simple, can be the seeds of something greater.
The World Needs Your Contribution, Not Perfection
Too often, people hold back because they think their efforts won’t be enough. But perfection isn’t the goal—impact is. Every act of service, no matter how small, contributes to the greater good.
Think of teachers, healthcare workers, and social workers who quietly change lives every day through consistent effort, not grand gestures.
Start now, with what you have. Your imperfect effort today can make someone else’s tomorrow better.
When you let go of the relentless pursuit of purpose and lean into a life of service, something incredible happens: clarity emerges. Purpose isn’t something you hunt down—it’s something revealed through action. Every moment you spend helping others, using your gifts to solve problems or bring joy, brings you closer to uncovering the deeper meaning of your life. True fulfillment doesn’t come from looking inward, but from looking outward. When you live to serve, your purpose rises to meet you, turning your life into a powerful force for good. So stop searching and start serving—the answer has been waiting for you all along.
Onward and upward, my fellow disrupters!
Kristen
